Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Suffering a loss

Many single parents are scarred by the loss of their spouse, whether through death or abandonment. For some, the psychological damage runs very deep, extends for years and appears seemingly irreversible while others are hurt for a while and then bounce off the experience to emerge stronger.

Some of us, never having experienced such a severe loss, find that it’s a little hard to fully comprehend the pain and anguish they are going through and we can’t begin to understand their fragile psyche until we literally start to “walk in their shoes”.

Yours truly got a little glimpse of the dark void of “suffering a loss” that many single parents go through when four young robbers pounced on me, put a knife to my neck and took away my waist pouch in 10mins flat just before Hari Raya!

The pouch held my personal items, JS and my cash, a digital camera and a bunch of keys, admittedly nothing much but the nuisance and inconvenience of having to replace the lost items has now made me more paranoid about the issue of safety. Now I tend to be more conscious of locking my car doors as soon as I get into the car, I’ll look around carefully first before getting out of the car and arm myself with a bat if I have to stand outside a house for any length of time.

The sense of outrage still burns within me, the anger at losing personal items to ruthless, worthless robbers still simmers, the fact that I should be grateful no physical harm came to me is often times more overlooked than remembered as I continually nurse a grudge against the thieving louts. Like the scarred single parents JS is helping, I couldn’t let go of the painful past!

Then something happened to renew my faith in humankind. A JS supporter learnt of what had happened and went out to buy JS a brand new digital camera to replace the one that was lost – the gesture was so unexpected, so spontaneous it considerably erased the pain and brought home one single, penetrative truth – bad things happen but we don’t have to be dragged down by it, we don't have to stay in its destructive grip, we need to move on and continue to do what we do best - make this world a better place for all.

Yes and how much more lovelier it can and will be, if we actively seek and choose to see only the beautiful side of life rather then to wallow in pain and perpetually nurse a lifetime of anguished “loss”...

Yours truly has now started using the digital camera to do just that – capture the joys of life and loves so that scarred single parents can also get out from the dark void that has held them captive for so long.

JS first photo – a pix of one of our single mother cats – all pregnant cats become single mums right? – newborn kitties – 3 of them, so small, so marvellously cute - a symbol of a fresh new look, a fresh new beginning awesome!

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